A person who looks for food in the trash ...

Every single week when I read Ben's email I want to copy a sentence from it to use as my subject line.  Every week.  This week I wanted to say "Shine to a great life."  They are just always so pithy and Bennish and wonderful.

Dearest friends.

My life is very good.  I had some cool reflection moments during personal study this week, thinking about my whole mission until now and how much it has changed and shaped me and broken and healed me and wiped me out and lifted me up and battered and blessed me.

I read my journal of what was happening a little more than a year ago -- I arrived into the loving care of the trainer who changed my life and taught me how to let life be wonderful and take care of people.  I met amazing Nelma and walked around the streets of the Algarve, understanding little Portuguese and splashing in the incredible wonder of tasting a life more consecrated than ever before.

I read some of my journal entries from last September, when I was feeling really worried and blue on an island in the middle of the Atlantic, and I cried with gratitude at what all of you did to send me love.  I received a letter from Nate and a letter from Wayne --written on the same day -- that were both sunrays of truth and love in envelopes that lifted me and gave me strength to carry on.  Mom sent a package, Heather sent an email I printed and still have, you all prayed and I FELT those prayers.  Heavenly Father, too, of course, gave me moment after moment of little kindnesses, strengthening and leading me along.

Fast forward several months -- I found myself in the middle of my stay in unexpected Evora, astonished and grateful at how incredibly strong and okay I felt.  Evora was ripe with miracles and God's love.  I met some of my all time favorite people there, and saw God change hearts, including mine.  Heavenly Father gave me two true sisters, friends that feel more like family, to serve with in that holy place.  I cannot think or speak of Evora without my throat tightening in profound gratitude and awe.  There are not words for these things.

And now here I am in lovely, promising Matosinhos.  Still learning, still with many miracles to swim in and look for each day.  Still having obstacles in the road and challenges to overcome and still meeting people who are changing my life completely.  It is just too sweet, too exquisite, too hard, too good for words.  Sorry I'm even trying.

Ah!  Guys! Here I am being all wishy washy and nostalgic and because of a problem at the email place I have pretty much no more time.  Pants.  

I wanted to tell you about Fabrice, and Dalila, Cristina, and Fernanda, and Sergio thinking Jesus was maybe an alien, and giving Mom's testimony in the BOM to Elisabete, and Irene feeding us dinner and then getting sick so she couldn't come to church, and Armando's phone conversation with us that was delightful and hilarious.  

We missionaries are heading up a scavenger hunt at the ward picnic tomorrow and when we tried to translate the word scavenger so that the committee would know what we were talking about, the translation was "a person who looks for food in the trash,  or an animal that eats the flesh of dead animals"  HA.  We were like, okay, um....

I made an AMAZING chocolate mousse this week.  Nazare status.  I will make it for you in less than 3 months.

Sheesh!  Have to go.  Sorry for the lameness of this email.

I love you.

Blessings,

Annie

The Ten Commandments According to Angela

Hey my favorite people,

This week was complicated because I got hit with THE ABSOLUTE WORST AND WEIRDEST flu virus of all time.  Apparently it's hit about half our zone.  I've been out of commission since Thursday, and each day my symptoms morph into something new and horrible, but don't improve.  SGibs has been a real champ and compassionate friend, taking care of me.  This morning she woke up to me crying and made me lemon tea at 6:30 a.m. Bless her.  

However, notwithstanding the bizarre health lameness, there were a lot of awesome things that happened this week.  I want to tell you about two lessons in particular.

The first was with Armando.  He came into the church in a flurry and we sat down in the classroom with Angela and Fatima and Amandio (recent converts who often teach/learn with us) and he was smiling real big and he looked at sister giberson and said, "I already know what you are going to say.  You are going to start out with, how was your week?, and I am telling you right now that it is AWFUL." -- He´s still grinning .. "it is totally AWFUL and nothing has been going right.  But something cool happened on Monday.  I sent off a whole bunch of texts to clients who need to pay me, and NONE of them responded.  Normally I can read the BOM when I am in a good mood, but when I am down, forget it!  But this day, I had TV, I had food, I had movies, I had other books, and I was feeling horrible, and for some reason I decided instead to pick up and start reading the Book of Mormon.  I read for four hours straight -- all of first and second Nephi -- and exactly when I finished second Nephi, my phone buzzed, and a client responded to me!  I was astonished.  I thought to myself, "I ought to read this book more often!" (we were like, yeah!! you should!!)

So he has received an answer that the Book of Mormon is true.  Yeah!!  Heavenly Father is so cool.

He continued, "You also asked me to pray about baptism.  One day I did.  Like, I didn't form any words with my lips, it was almost only a half-thought, but IMMEDIATELY something good happened."

He wants to be baptized!! He is no longer talking like "if", but now "when"!  He is so much more ready than he realizes, too.  We are full of faith that he can soooo be baptized this transfer.  July 5th is the last Saturday of the transfer.  We are going to present that date to him this week.  !!  He still needs to stop smoking and drinking and start living the law of chastity, but once a person has a desire to be baptized, nothing can stop them!  

Will you pray for Armando?

Oh, guys, I wish you could have seen the new light in his countenance.  He was going off about how his week was going horribly but he was SMILING and his whole countenance was changed and more full of light.  He has already changed so so much since we met him.  

THE GOSPEL IS TRUE.  Gah!  It is so cool to see it start to be delicious to others.  

Ha!  At the end of the lesson he was going off about how we are just so great.  We are never irritable or depressed, we are generous and other centered and don't think about ourselves, etc, then he's like, "and you are always wearing the same clothes over and over again and you don't worry about your shoes."

I looked down at our shoes.  Both of us were wearing HORRENDOUS sister misisonary shoes.  Like, Shaun would literally have a heart attack.  Perhaps Armando would be less impressed if he knew that we actually LOVE wearing adorable shoes and having more than 5 outfits.  But lucky for us, those were strong points for him.  :)  HA.

Oh, and one more thing.  I wish you could hear him pray.  He VOLUNTEERED to say the closing prayer.  One of my favorite things EVER about missionary work is hearing people pray who haven't yet gotten really comfortable with prayer.  It is so beautiful.  Their prayers are so unadorned and childlike and real.  It always makes me want to pray more like they do.

Armando closed his eyes and folded his arms and said, "Heavenly Father.  I want you to know that I believe in you.  More every day.  I know that you are good.  You are extremely good. ..."  It was slow and purposeful and real and uncomfortable and sincere and just exquisite.  

I am so glad for Armando.

------

The other awesome lesson was with Irene.  Irene is my FAVORITE.  She is this 75ish Portuguese fire cracker with so much spunk.  We met her in the street with Ricardo Melo (Ricardo Melo is this 16 year old LEGEND in our ward who joined the church a couple years ago and is amazing.  He sometimes teaches with us.  Especially Irene, because she loves him.  Yesterday at church she was talking to the RS pres about how she is "crazy about that kid!  I adore him, believe it!!"  Anyway.) and he recognized her because the elders had been teaching her a while back.  We invited her to church and she was like "NO" and we were like "why not?" and whe was like "because NO" and we set up an apt with her.

We taught her with Ricardo that week and she was constantly joking around and winking at all of us but you can just tell she has a desire to be blessed by the gospel.  On Thursday we missed an apt with her because I was sick but we managed to get out of the house long enough to teach her on Saturday.  Ricardo couldn't come, so we brought Angela. (Angela is the recent convert at whose house I called you for mothers day.  She is a RIOT.  She is always talking and saying "for the love of God!!" after like every sentence and is ON FIRE for the gospel.  She's so great.  I thought she and Irene would get along, even though they both have huge personalities.  :)

Angela was great with Irene.  She bore powerful testimony and went off about how greatly the gospel has blessed her life ever since she was baptized in February and how she loves living the 10 commandments and --

Irene interjected, "What exactly are the 10 commandments?"

"Oh,"  Angela said, confidently, "FIRST, Honor your father and mother.  SECOND, Love God over everything else.  THIRD, Love your neighbor as yourself."  She made some vague hand gestures while trying to think of the next one, and said assertively, "NEXT, Keep the 10 commandments (this is my favorite) and NEXT, give food to the hungry and give clothes to the needy..." She ended there, as if she had said ten things.  Irene was just listening and nodding.  So were we.  It wasn't worth correcting her in that moment.  (A quote from SGibs' journal: "Sister Sandholtz and I just sat there smiling wisely with an expression that said, "Yes, these are the 10 commandments...")  HA!

It was one of my favorite teaching moments of all time.

But the lesson was also very tender.  We had pretty much marked her for baptism for the 14th of june the last time we met with her.  But she is pretty fearful and afraid of change and failure.  I had wanted to apply something that our zl elder Moore had taught us in zone mtg.  -- to tell your investigators that you love them, and to show them you love them.  This whole work is about love!  During the lesson, Irene had told us she wasn't going to come to church.  We asked her if she liked church when she came before and she said yes because she had felt a lot of peace and inspiration there.  So we were confused.

Near the end of the lesson, I looked over at Irene and said, "Irene, we love you."

She threw her hands in the air and exclaimed, "You've known me for a week!!"

"I know,"  I said, "but we are set apart as representatives of Jesus Christ, and with that comes a great love -- His love -- for the people we teach.  Irene, we feel His love for you, and we really love you.  That is why we want you to come to church tomorrow, so you can feel that inspiration and the peace you described feeling last time you came.  We want you to have these blessings because we love you."

She fixed my gaze for a few long seconds, testing me.  She is fiery and jokes around a lot, but deep down she needed what I said to be true.  I held her gaze confidently because I knew what I said was true.

"Will you be at church with us tomorrow?"

She looked at me, and said, simply, "Yes."

It was such a powerful moment for me.  To apply something my mission leaders taught, and to see how huge of a difference it made for Irene to simply know and hear us say that we love her.  

How often do we forget to tell people we love them?  Expressing love is SO important and gives people the courage to do things that scare them.  ALL REAL CHANGE IS MOTIVATED BY LOVE.  this is why the atonement of Jesus Christ can purify, cleanse, uplift and enable us.  Because He LOVES us.  Expressing and showing love is the FIRST thing he asks us to do -- love God with all we are, and love our neighbor as ourself.  

Anyway.  I was so grateful to see that so powerfully with Irene this week.

I also loved watching her while Angela was going off about stuff.  Irene would roll her eyes at me as if to say, Who is this lady!?, but deep down you could tell she was totally loving Angela.  :)  So good.

Oh, yeah, and she TOTALLY  came to church.  And she's totally getting baptized.

Will you pray she can have courage?  That she can feel that love and take this step and not look back or fear?  

I love Irene so much.

-----

Fam.  I LOVE YOU.

Have an amazing week.

Grace be with you,

Sister Sandholtz

26 May 2014 - Jesus came into the world simple and rumble

All right people I love.

I am going to dive into a furious 38 minutes of mad typing so I can tell you about my amazing week!  I printed your emails and will read them depois.  Looks like this is how it's going to work best from here on out!  Sorry if I fail to respond to specific things in your emails.  :/

We're going by categories:

Things that made me cry this week:

1. Mission Tour with Elder Kearon.  Holy Cow, People.  It was INCREDIBLE.  He created the most amazing environment in which the spirit was so present and everyone felt completely comfortable sharing comments and questions and we all learned so much.  He's British and funny and real and just wonderful.  I am rooting for him to be the next member of the 12 even though I also really want it to be an African or a Latin American.

I'll share with you one story that I loved:  He was talking about how much Heavenly Father loves us -- that He feels our pains and frustrations even more accutely that we feel them.  He told about how when his youngest daughter Emma was 4 he was on a business trip in Holland one night and his wife told him the following story over the phone.  That day little Emma had fallen and scraped her knees.  She picked herself up, trembling and angry and crying and shouted, "I WANT DADDY!!  DADDY WOULD BE SO SAD!!!"  

When Elder Kearon heard this, his first reaction was to be really happy.  Why? Because little Emma knew how deeply he cared for her.  She knew he would be so sad that she was hurting.  

Isn't this what we all want?  Someone to sorrow when we sorrow and hurt when we hurt?  

And isn't this exactly what Christ gave us, infinitely, completely?  Elder Kearon said, speaking of our Heavenly Parents, "they ache for us.  I really believe that.  You'll understand this better when you are parents."

2. Hearing President Fluckiger bear his testimony.  When he cries, I cry.  End of story.  It is so moving to see him talk about the Savior.

3. When Elder Da Veiga called us this morning to say goodbye.  Okay I actually didn't cry but I came reallllly close.

4. When I talked to Sister Rad on the phone and she told me that Manuel told her that he wants to go on a mission FOR SURE and would go tomorrow if he could.  Full mission, not mini.  YES!!!!!!  (okay I didn't actually cry at this one either, this category is getting fuzzy.)  But still.  I can't WAIT for him to go on a mission.  

Let me sketch a few of our investigators:

1. Lidia.  Lidia is a 38ish Brazilian mom who looks like a character on a tv show.  She's gorgeous.  She has 3 kids and is married to a Portuguese guy, Sergio, who owns a print shop.  She wants to be more connected to Christ, but is having a hard time COMING TO CHURCH.  Sheesh, people, church is COOL, OKAY?  But she loves us a lot and is learning bit by bit.  Will you pray for her?

2. Armando.  Armando is probs like 50 and has a huge nose and used to be a professional volleyball player.  He's way intellectual and that is why we didn't stop the lesson a few weeks ago when Pedro was teaching about the veil of forgetfulness and Kolob.  Armando likes that kind of stuff.  Pedro, our ward mission leader, has been great at reaching out to him. He comes to chruch basically every week and he told us he's been praying about baptisma and wants to talk to us about it.  We are excited.  :)

3. Elisabete.  Elisabete is this awesome lady with 5 kids.  FIVE.  That is a lot in Portugal, and the oldest is like 11 or something so it seems like a LOT of little kids.  We usually teach her in her tiny kitchen while she is making dinner, because she is so busy.  She also hasn't come to church yet, but her 3 oldest daughers (8,9,11) have.  They are so full of life and fun.  Her husband Sergio is kinda like, "I'm not into religion" but I know the Lord can soften his heart.  We realllllly want to get them to come to church so she can see how the gospel is EXACTLY what her family needs.  They also have a dog named Scooby who is HUMONGOUS and disgusting.

Music makes me sooooo happy.

1. They called me the night before mission tour and asked me to bring my violin.  :)  Long story short in the space of about 30 minutes we ended up making up a SICK mash-up of Firmes Segui (Press Forward Saints) and Nossa Lei É Trabalhar (Put your shoulder to the wheel, better in portuguese and a sort of mission theme here in the mish).  I was SO pleased with how it turned out, especially given the amount of time we had to prepare it.  I love the little musical geek moments I get sometimes on the mission.

2. New Motab CD you sent, Mom.  THANK YOU.  I love it.  

Funny things Elder Da Veiga said:

1. Sister Fluckiger was teaching us about gossip and how it always affects 3 people (gossiper, person being gossiped to, person being gossiped about).  She was trying to get this answer out of us and asked, "There are three people involved in gossip.  Who are they?"  to which Elder Da Veiga said softly in the back row, "Elder Da Veiga....."  HAHAHA I was dying.

2.  At lunch the members commented that Elder Fortes hadn't said much.  Da Veiga said, "Calma, Obama, Russia's not going to attack!"

3. He pronounced "BYU", "bee guy you".  so good.

Reasons I love Sister Giberson:

1. At the ward karaoke party we got permission to sing something super tame so we sang Somewhere over the Rainbow, but then joked the rest of the night that we should have done Bohemian Rhapsody.  Ha.

2. We are filled with fire to bring people in to this amazing ward in Matosinhos!  We have a goal to baptize at least 2 families this transfer.  Will you pray for us to be able to do so?  We are starting today a 40 day fast of all the things we can do to be more aligned with the spirit.  (this was a challenge from president).  Oh yeah -- transfers -- we are staying together here in Matosinhos and will no longer be STL's.  I'll miss the travel and going to mission council but it will be cool to have more time in our area and with our peeps.

The subject line comes from the Brazilian MMA fighter we contacted yesterday who is a new investigator.  He was trying to say that Jesus came into the world simply and humbly.  :)  When we asked him what he needs in life he said, More Jesus.  We said, You're talking to the right girls.  :)

Okay fam I LOVE YOU.

You are the happiest thing.  I love you.

Yours, yours,

Annie

Here's us at mission tour with elder kearon!  3 zones.

19 May 2014 - I'm a goofy goober yeah

Urgh people sorry!

I spent my time waiting for this lame computer to not be a loser, figuring out how to print your emails out, writing to president Fluckiger, communicating with some past comps, and organizing my email like Nate did.  Sorry!  Next week will be longer I promise!  I will include below part of my letter to Pte Fluckiger so you can at least have an idea of what's going on out here.

I can't believe transfers are next monday.  Sis. Giberson and I are so hoping to stay together in Matosinhos!  

Highlights of the week included teaching Fabrice, a guy from Cameroon in English who speaks only English, French, and whatever they speak in cameroon.  He is here to play futebol.  I wish you could have heard him read the first vision out loud in French.  so cool.

We reprogrammed the alarm tones on our cell phone so that now our daily routine includes several 30-second mini dance parties to our groovy cell phone alarms.  ha!

I read Luke 7:36-50 and it slayed me.

Well I have to go!

I love you!  So so much!  Thank you for your prayers and faith, I can feel them!

Yours yours yours,

Sister Sandholtz

Hello President Fluckiger,

It was a good week in Matosinhos.

We marked Jose for baptism on June 21.  We are working with him to stop smoking and get married on the 20th so he can be baptized on the 21st.  We also marked Valdomar for the 14th of June. He also has addictions, which we will be making a plan with him to deixar.

Our investigator Armando is doing great.  This week he told us he has already started sharing the gospel with his friends.

Lidia and her family still haven't come to church, nor Elisabete and her family.  But I believe they will.  We are going to baptize at least one family in Matosinhos!  

I already told you this, but I would LOVE to stay in Matosinhos with Sister Giberson.  She's a great missionary, we love working together, we both have a desire to work hard and baptize families, and we are happy.  I am so grateful for the beautiful thing that is a mission!

...

Love,

Sister Sandholtz

12 May 2014 - Becoming Alive in Christ

Disclaimer: this email is LOOOOOONGGGGG

My dear kinfolk.

It was wonderful to talk with you yesterday.  Wonderful.  I had this whole long list of specific questions I wanted to ask each one of you, and in the end I just talked the whole time!  Sorry!  But all the same I loved just being with you for a milisecond.  I had been feeling marginally fragile lately -- I mean, I'm totally fine -- but just inside me I was feeling a tiny bit vulnerable and alone, and talking to you all was like a booster shot.  I left feeling fortelecida (strengthened) and tranquila (peaceful).  Thank you.  I love you.

AND NEXT TIME WE TALK IT WILL BE IN THE FLESH!!!!!!!!!  I am not even going to pretend that I am not 3 gazillion percent excited for that.

But I am also ridiculously happy and grateful that I get 4 more precious months out here on the front lines. 

A few notable moments from the week:

I think it can be really funny when people give us false numbers.  One time a kid in Evora gave us the number of the fire station!  Ha!  Last week or so a lady gave us a number that turned out to be her ex-husband and we accidentally called it twice!  whooops...

We knocked a door and heard some intense sniffing on the other side and I said to Sis. Giberson, "It's either a dog or a really weird person...."

Lidia told us that she wants to come back to Christ and that when she does, it is going to be in this church!  Boo-yeah!!!

We did a division with Porto in which I felt for the first time ever that I was truly able to fulfill the part of this calling to minister.  It was a sweet tender mercy for me and I felt like so many of the life experiences I had in the years leading up to my mission prepared me to be helpful to another person.  Such a gift.

A few weeks ago we taught a lesson in the church with our ward mission leader (he actually taught it, we were there for support and clarification) in which he taught the Plan of Salvation DEEP version, including veil of forgetfulness, seven creative periods, KOLOB, baptisms for the dead, etc.  Sister Giberson and I looked at each other wide eyed sooo many times during that lesson.  We would have stopped it if it hadn't been being taught to Armando, who can handle that.  Anyway, at the end our ward mission leader (who is wonderful, by the way!) said he was going to write one more word on the board to tie it all together.  We were sure it would be Expiacao (atonement), to bring it all back to Christ.  He picked up the chalk and wrote in big block letter, "INFERNO", which means HELL.  hahahahaha soo good.

Okay.  Last week in President's email he taught us about the principle of Becoming Alive in Christ and invited us to "write a letter to your family sharing what you believe about this concept".  I decided there was no time like the present, so I have some thoughts for you.

First, some quotes from his letter that got me thinking:

"...as missionaries we can move closer to Christ. As we do, we will come to more fully understand his atonement and that change in us will result in new feelings, including a strong desire to invite others to the atoning power and the restored church.  In other words, a change can take place in us in which the atonement ceases to be a concept and instead becomes an emotional reality.  The scriptures refer to this as becoming more Alive in Christ. (2 Nephi 25: 25-26) 

"If we are willing to regularly ask and respond to the question, What can I do right now to move closer to Jesus Christ? ... with continuous movement towards Chrst we become Alive in Christ and we obrtain the gifts of the Sprirt.  With the gifts of the Spirit we are better able to bring others to Christ."

"As we come to understand the Atonement, our desires change..." (pmg)

I have studied and thought about this a lot this week.  It is true that our hearts and desires can be changed by Christ!  I have seen this during and before my mission, in myself and others.  This transformation is the most breathtaking, worthwhile process imaginable.  

To me, becoming alive in Christ requires a choice to do so.  Choose the gospel.  Live it 100%.  Do truth. (John 3:21)  Make God's love a part of your every day by the way to treat yourself and others.  There is profound power and promise in this type of brave surrender.  

2 Nephi 9:50 "Come, my brethren, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters; and he that hath no money, come buy and eat; yeah, come buy wine and milk without money and without price."

John 4:14 "Whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life."

COME.  DRINK.  These are active verbs.  Christ is so eager to offer us this river of living water -- to vivificar-nos (make us alive) -- but He cannot make us come, He cannot make us drink.  Becoming alive in Him requires willingness.

Are we willing to say, as the woman of Samaria, "Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw." (John 4:15)?

Are we willing to jump in the river and swim and splash and let it carry us to glory?

How deep is that river?  (go listen to that Mason Jennings song, please.)

How often do I sit on the river bank, comfortable to dip only my toes in the current, clinging to the stagnant, non-dynamic but nonetheless comfortable riverbank?

When will we take that brave leap and immerse ourselves in the Water that changeth not, yet changes us continuously and relentlessly for the better?

Also, HOW?  How do we take that leap?  How do we become alive in Christ?

I sometimes feel intimidated by how pitifully far I am from this type of consecration.  President quoted somebody in his letter saying, "With this fulfillment of love in our hearts, we will never be happy anymore just by being ourselves or living our own lives.  We will not be satisfied until we have surrendered our lives into the arms of the living Christ, and until He has become the doer of all our dees and He has become the speaker of all our words.  As He has said, I am the vine, ye are the branches. he that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit, for without me ye can do nothing (John 15:5)"

This both inspires and intimidates me.  I want to get to that point!  But I am painfully aware of how far away I am.

That being said, I am convinced that this, like everything else that really creates lasting change, is a process.  It is realized through small and simple things, one at a time; letting go, bit by bit, over and over, of the things tying us to the shore.

I like the concreteness of President's suggestion: asking ourselves in every moment, "What can I do right now to move closer to Jesus Christ?"

Here's an example; something I am changing to try to be more involved in this process:

As I reflected on what I can do to move closer to Jesus Christ, I decided that I need to improve the quality of my personal prayers.  What happens is that I kneel by (or in) my bed at night and I'm so wiped out that I don't focus at all and my prayer starts out with "Father, I am SO TIRED..." and shortly turns into a sor of half-asleep state of wishy washy thanks and requests that honestly does nothing for my personal relationship with God.

What I really crave is some quality time alone with God, which ironically as missionaries we almost cannot ever have.  But to create a little more of that and to improve the meaningfulness of my prayers, I have committed to pray, alone, out loud, at least one time per day.

What we have started doing is that right before bed, I go into the kitchen and Sister Giberson stays in the bedroom.  This way we can both pray aloud.

I climb onto the big armchair by the fridge and sit, hugging my knees, face pointed to the sky, eyes open but lights off, and I talk to my Father in Heaven.  

I find that this way I stay more awake and focused, but I am going to try it kneeling tonight.  I am already noticing a difference.  The first time I did it I felt such a sensation of relief.  This is what I'd been missing!!  A closeness, an openness, a sort of just being with God.

I hope to report to you that by June my prayers have become increasinly meaningful.

This is just one example of a specific thing I am trying to do to move closer to Christ.  I would love other ideas!  There are countless possibilities.  I invite each of you to choose something specific you can change or do in your life to move closer to Christ.  I truly believe that it is through small and simple changes (change=repentance!!) that we grab onto the anchor Christ offers us and undergo transformation.

So, to sum up.  What do I believe about the concept of becoming alive in Christ?  

I believe it is possible.

I believe it is the most worthwhile quest we can undertake.

I have seen it happen; I know Christ has the power and grace and willingness to change our hearts.

I believe becoming alive in Christ is a process of renewal and rebirth that should never cease.

I believe it takes a lot of courage and trust and humility and creativity and tenacity.

I believe that this type of abundant life (John 10:10) and aliveness is what brings us true joy.

I believe that Father in Heaven and our Brother Savior are ever invested in helping us acheive the most abundant of all aliveness -- eternal life.

I am inexpressibly grateful for the opportunity of striving to be a participant in this quest, despite my many defects and faults.

More than anything, I desire to become alive in Christ.

Family, I love you!  I am unable to express or even contain how grateful I am for each one of you.  You are magnificent!

Love you love you!

Sister Sandholtz

PS

I printed your emails and haven't read them yet, but I saw a line about Nate-ified palavra de sabedoria pamphlets and I want to see them!!  No one throw them away!! 

5 May 2014 - lame, I know...

All right.  I just spent a long time reading your emails and chatting with a few friends.  I will log back in in an hour to send you some photos and talk to you about next week and hopefully tell you about my week!

It was great.  The training went awesome, thanks for your prayers!!

Charles got baptized, he's a rock star.  it's a shame he's moving back to Brazil tomorrow.

Sister Giberson is amazing.  I love working with her.  Every night our final companionship prayer of the day is just gratitude.  We don't ask for anything - just thank Him for the countless manifestations of His grace and goodness that day.  I really love it.

In case I don't have more time later, a few highlights:

Sister Giberson got threatened by a crazy lady with a hammer axe.  In jest, we think, but you never know.  Yay missionary life!!

We spent the week EVERYWHERE.  Porto, Lisbon, Maia, Foz de Douro, then finally Matosinhos!!  It felt soooo long but a lot of great stuff happened.

Okay I have to log off.

Love your GUTS.  Can't wait to talk to you!

Love,

Annie

This is me and sister Prieto. I'm sending it so you can see Elders Da Veiga and Fortes in the background

Me and Sister Giberson suuuuper tired in the elevator when we arrived home from our trip to Lisbon and got to bed at 1 a.m for the second night in a row...

This is SO TYPICAL. I had to take a picture, so I asked them if I could. Their names were Maria, Francelina, and Margarida. I think.

This is Charles. I really love this photo. He was taking a picture of us, then just turned around and put himself in it too. Ha! We're like his shoulder angels or something.

This is me and my gorgeous companion, Sister Giberson, overlooking the city of Porto! We spent pday there on our way to Lisbon. :)

Me, Rad, and King at mission counsel. Say goodbye to the mermaid hair; I cut it today...

This is what Portuguese mailboxes look like. Except not all of them have statues next to them.

I'm a real missionary! Walked a hole into my shoe!

I gut my herr did! (I got my hair done!)

ana's baptism 3 weeks ago!

We Are Children Of Glory

Dearest People,

Oh, I love you! Reading your emails this week I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the great blessing and privilege it is to be in your family.  You are so good, light-filled, lovely.  I feel like Heavenly Father is just constantly surrounding me with amazing examples of love and kindness and generosity and gratitude.  He is so full of grace and goodness.  Glory to Him!

Fatima's baptism was amazing.  All three members of the bishopric were present and there was lots of ward support.  She's so happy, even bore her testimony after.

Charles was there and exclaimed, "Next week that's me!!"  Yes!  (His baptism is on Satuday). Charles is funny.  He says Amen after anything he agrees with, and says stuff like "Sou fan de Jesus" (I am a fan of Jesus!).  These two baptisms were seriously just GIVEN to us.  Such miracles.  There are prepared people out there.

Elder Da Veiga-ism of the week.  He randomly starts dishing food onto your plate at Sunday lunch if you're not careful.  He also randomly says simple sentences in English.  For example, "I am a child", "Thank you, teacher," and "Let's go, boys".  So good.  I love him so stinking much.

On our division this week in Maia I was wearing the dress I got at DI that just happens to be a maternity dress and kind of poofs out at the waist and TWO SEPARATE PEOPLE asked me if I was pregnant!  HAHAHAHA.  What the heck, people, I'm a MISSIONARY.  How could I possibly be pregnant!?  Just when I thought my little Evora baby-bump was diminishing, too....

I was reflecting this week about the amazing things the Lord did in Evora while I was there, and I wrote this in my journal, "It's interesting -- I'm sure the amazing growth I saw in Evora had at least something to do with hard work, diligence, obedience, and faith, but all it ever really felt like to me was love.  God-given love is the most powerful thing in the universe.  Love is the most motivating, uplifting, empowering force.  I am so Grateful that Heavenly Father has let me see that so clearly."On these hang all the law and the prophets"  Everything else only points to this.  Loving God and His children.  Showing that love through who we become -- repentant, humble, willing children.   Charity NEVER faileth.  It is always the answer.

Another idea bumping around my brain lately is how kind of sad it is that after a year in the mission the inicial splendor wears off and the thousands of little miracles each week just become almost normal.  Bread and butter.  I guess maybe that is kind of cool, too.  But I want to more consciously notice them and thank God for them.  It reminds me of a poem Mom sent me in the MTC.  "Welcome Morning" by Anne Sexton.  I am only going to include the 2nd and 3rd strophe, but the whole thing is wonderful.

All this is God,

right here in my pea-green house

each morning

and I mean,

though often forget,

to give thanks,

to faint down by the kitchen table

in a prayer of rejoicing

as the holy birds at the kitchen window

peck into their marriage of seeds.

So while I think of it,

le me paint a thank-you on my palm

for this God, this laughter of the morning,

lest it go unspoken.

I too mean to faint down in a prayer of rejoicing and give thanks.  I so often forget or overlook or think I have more important things to worry about.  What is more important than this!?

Oh, family, how I love you.  Will you pray for me and Sister Giberson?  We are giving a training tomorrow at Mission Council in front of ALL the mission leadership on teaching repentance to investigators with addictions.  YIKES.  We're excited.  But your prayers would be appreciated.  :)

I am realizing I haven't told you that much about Sister Giberson.  She's really amazing.  We get along great and I am learning so much from her.  She's such a great missionary, and is just nerdy enough for us to have some really great nerdy jokes.  Love it.

Okay have to jet.  Cuidem-se ta bem?

Love you INFINITY.

Yours,

Annie