Praise Him

Of late my thoughts have been turned to trust.  In the last couple weeks of the semester, there was, of course, a mile-long list of tasks to accomplish before the break.  On a clear, crisp Tuesday in the last week of classes, I was walking home from school, surprised at how calm I felt.  A peace washed over me, I looked out at the south mountains, and I felt something.  If I could put it into words: "Annie, don't worry.  You will have the time, energy, and ability you need to accomplish every needful thing."  I contemplated this.  If any human had spoken to me those words, I'd have shrugged off their assurance with a still-skeptical "I know, I know."  But when God speaks to your heart, you can trust Him.  Completely, unabashedly, wholly.  I felt a confidence and sureness that carried me through final projects and performances and papers and exams.
It brought to my mind the words of the Savior to his disciples, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you."
He gives us peace that the world cannot give us.  With Him we can accomplish that which seems impossible.
I believe in Him and love Him and have felt His love inside me like a well of clear water.  I know His atonement is real, and I trust Him.
Merry Christmas!
Praise Him.

Ben

Ben is my little brother, child number 4 in our family.  He is fifteen years old.  Without a doubt he has the best sense of humor in our family, and there are a lot of funny people in my family.  I think it's his timing.  And his memory.  He has the most impeccable memory for movie quotes or past funny moments, and he always weaves them perfectly into the situation at  hand.
Ben's sentence construction is priceless.  It must be a function of his extra chromosome - Ben has Down Syndrome.  He uses conjunctions interchangeably.  "Wayne is infatuated of her.  That means he has a crush with her."
Which reminds me, Ben's vocab is awesome.  He's been learning some great words this year in seventh grade, and he uses them in real life.  Words like: persnickety, inebriated, compel.  Said in his gruff voice, used perfectly in sentences, they make me smile every time.
There's no real way for me to describe Ben's magnificence.  You just have to meet him.
One more thing: Ben is indefatigably loyal.  Come December, most kids have a countdown to Christmas; Ben has a countdown to when Wayne, Nate, and I come home from college.

I Love People

I have such faith in humanity.  Humans have such a capacity for love and creativity and light and goodness.  It hits me in the small things.  The way an acquaintance smiles and says hello.  The power of a witty comment to make someone laugh.  Mutual appreciation for beauty in music, literature, art, nature.  I guess what I'm trying to say is: I LOVE PEOPLE.  I am awestruck at the magnificent souls that surround me - living, walking, doing, creating, becoming.  Each of them has experienced joy and sorrow and is seeking grace and truth.  Each of them cares deeply about something.  Each of them is living, right now, and feeling an emotion or thinking through a dilemma.  That makes the world so vast.  So powerful.  So beautiful.  I think my very favorite part of it all is that we, as humans, interact with one another.  I can't express in words my gratitude for all the paths that have met mine.  Each intersection adds a measure of hope to my internal well.

Sunflowers and Silver Threads

I feel like I owe an explanation for my blog title.

You see, I was walking across campus one day, and thinking about how great it is being alive.  As I walked I noticed that this gratitude inside me was a flower.  It felt like a sunflower was blooming inside my chest.

So one purpose of this blog is to record those sunflower moments - the things that make my inner garden bloom.  And one of those things is you.  What I mean is that I'm in awe of the magnificence of the people that populate this planet.  Sometimes I go about my life, bogged down in insignificant things, until something makes me remember what is really important.  I am a spirit child of the God of the universe.  Within me there is a well of living water springing unto life eternal.  And that is true of each person on the Earth.

I think we sometimes get so tangled in mortality that we forget about the transcendent, glowing, vibrant silver threads that connect us to eternity.  Our spirits.  That within us which has never been afraid or hurt or embarrassed.  That which is, always has been, and always will be completely whole.